21st of May

So. How 'bout the rapture, eh? Some good laugh. Had a made craic. LOLJK, there was no Rapture.
I think I was a little disappointed in a way. .-.
I dunno.

Is it bad that I'm still not talking to my friend? Cause she's still being stupid? I'm getting a tiny bit worried about how much weight she's lost. But losing weight was good for her, right? She was chronically obese, or something, which was bad. But maybe it's bad that she's lost so much weight in two weeks that tons of people noticed it straight away? I mean. It's not like she's underweight now or anything. And it's not my fault, right? Am I being dumb and paranoid about this? D=

I think I'm also being paranoid about my friend circle. I have one friend that I talk to and text on a regular basis. The others not so much.

I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to open on this blog. I talk about a couple of issues per post, where as everyone else does short ones on one little thing and then nothing else. D= I feel awkward now.

Aye! Happy! Aye!

- Spud

Man.

I really hate this.

This awful cooped-up feeling.

Like I haven't left the house in days, when really, I only came on at four. I feel like running out into the street and
dancing like a lunatic.

I really hate this.

It makes me want to cry.

Which is really lame. Crying because I'm not outside.

I wish I lived in the country. Or a village. I could go out into my huge back garden and just walk about for a bit. Just walk about and sing and talk to myself, or make a video out of it.

Just get out of this godforsaken house that I never get to leave.

This is actually depressing me.

- Spud

God? Allah? Buddha? FSM? Pink Unicorn? Anyone? Help?

Shit. <- how I feel because of him.

But he still makes my heart beat faster in the good way.

I don't understand why he gets to have such a profound effect on me, if he's only going to abuse it. 

I can't hate him. I like him too much. 

Would it be fair to punch him in the face? Or rip off his testicles and feed them to him? Or dropkick his firstborn? Or would that be overstepping the mark?

Doesn't really matter tho. I've turned pacifist by shame. .-.

I really don't know what to do at this stage. 

Leave it simmer or do something about it.

Yeah. I think I'll just starve myself a bit more. Or cry. Either works. Totally interchangable.

- Spud

"I don't want a girl with problems, even though we'd be a perfect match Oh how do I get what I want, when I don't know what it is."

Well. Here's the sceal.

I'm supposed to be in bed.
I still have loads of my revision work to do, including some that I can't do due to not having necessary equipment.
My hair is being the biggest gomey pelk ever.
Mammy won't cut it, due it me wanting to it a "spur of the moment that I will regret later" thing. Which is so totally not true. .-.
SCHOOL. Y U HAEV TO BE SO CONSUMING?
Speaking of consuming, I accidentally went 14 hours without eating. Which was sad.
I'm hungry now, actually.
I wish people greeted me like they greeted other people. With the whole "OH MY GANDHI! HAAAAAAAI! I'VE GOT STUFF TO TELL YOU CAUSE LYK OMG WE'RE BEST FRIENDS" and stuff. I don't even have that in my everyday life anymore. Which is....depressing? I guess.
I seriously want to do videos for YouTube. Like. So badly. But my camera has no viewfinder and my parents won't allowed "such nonsense". Sadness.
Junior Cert in five weeks. The entire family is asking " So, are you all ready for the big JC.?" And I'm like... mmmmno. And then they give me the "I'm disappointed in you. I thought you'd not go the same way your brother and sister did." It annoys me. I have to be better than my siblings, all because they didn't care.
I don't care much either. But I'm being forced to. HOW LAME? SO LAME.
My fringe in is my eeeeeeeeeeeeeeyes. D=
Speaking of eyes, the other day it was swollen. Then today, I got two nosebleeds. I think I may be dying. Again.

I thought I'd have more to say than this. .-. I guess not. Maybe something else will come to me later and I'll be all FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-.

So, I leave you with this.
Slan go foill, beacain beag. It means "bye for now, little mushrooms." Just cause Star was asking aaaaaaaaaages ago. I'VE DECIDED TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AND BE ALL TELLING FROM NOW ON. So yeah. Be prepared of shitty humor for teh next few weeks.

Slan

- Spud