They always say

That musicians are so much hotter than non-musicians.
I never believed it much before cause I knowmusicians and was never particularly attracted to them.
But he started singing and playing. And oh my god. When he looked at me I think I melted a little. Even when he wasn't singing srsly.

I kinda hate hanging around with my friends. It's so much fun and I always wind up crying with laughter. But they make me feel so fat and ugly and uncool and unliked. They never say anything. It's just that they are skinny and attractive and I'm there with at least two stone excess body weight, a gap in my teeth you could fit a book through and a massive nose.
He calls me a beour, like you do your friends. But i always think he's taking the piss.
I hate feeling like this but I can't help it.
And I'm too much of a fucking pansy to cut properly or get an eating disorder so I can feel better about myself. Or get properly depressed.
Is there something wrong with me that im the only person in my friend group who hasnt had an eating disorder?
I dont even get properly depressed. I just get angry for a half hour then go into a state of sheer indifference for a while. But im never happy unless im laughing. Even before and after im just thinking about all my flaws and wondering why anyone would waste their time on me. Im good for nothing except complaining and slagging peoples intelligence. Im not even good at those.

Can i just die now and be done with life?