I don't want to feel like this anymore.

   I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I don't want to have to face you. I just feel really horrible for not liking you as much as you like me. Don't get me wrong. I like you. I like how talking to you makes me incredibly happy and how my heart speeds up in a good way. But I feel as if that's not enough.
   In general, I'm pretty uncomfortable around humans. Females make me the least nervous. Change genders and my nerves increase by like five. Make me attracted to them, tenfold the nerves. With you, it's like one million-fold. It isn't even that I find you very attractive, but you're just so amazing. To paraphrase Amy Pond,
       "You know when you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them   and five minutes later, they're dull as as brick? Then there's other people and you meet them and think "not bad. You're okay.". And then you get to know them and their face sort of becomes them? Like their personality's written all over it. And they turn into something so beautiful."
   You're the second one. The better one. But I'm still afraid. I'm afraid that it doesn't work out and you get hurt or I get hurt and it just ends really badly and wee merger speak again. I don't think I could handle that.
   I don't think our relationship wouldn't be fair on you anyway. I'm a wreck at the best of times. It wouldn't be fair that you'd have to put up with my self loathing and laziness and dullness and inability to kiss you, or even hold you hand. You deserve someone who can give you a proper relationship. Someone who can match your intellect, who share your views on music and television and books and anything else. You deserve far better than the girl who starves for attention and tries desperately to fit society's mould.
   You deserve better than me.